One of the joys of blogging each week is hearing from a variety of readers. Nearly all of the responses are positive and affirming. A few weeks ago, however, one reader challenged a story I had used to illustrate what I believed was a valid spiritual point. Without going into unnecessary detail, the reader felt the illustration was not believable enough to support the lesson I was trying to share.
I had a brief and friendly exchange with this person on social media, with each of us explaining the point we wanted to make. Eventually, I decided it was time to move on, because the issue was not a matter of life or death. After all, we are each entitled to our own opinions, aren’t we?
While we may like to answer with a definitive yes, I’m not sure it is always that simple. Deep inside, many of us want to be right; we want to be the final authority on the matter. We may say we will “agree to disagree,” but it can still be difficult to let go of the desire to win the conversation. That is something most of us have to keep working on.
We naturally hope others will understand and affirm what we are saying, whether in a blog, a sermon, or a conversation. Yet there will always be someone who sees the issue differently, offers another perspective, or believes there is a better way to communicate the point.
If I’ve learned anything in more than 45 years of pastoral ministry, it is that you are not going to win over every person every time. The more important question is this: How can I grow when an individual or a group of people does not agree with me? One lesson I have learned through the years is that it is not always about me, and we need wisdom to navigate those potentially rough waters.
That same principle applies to our walk with the Lord. Have you ever realized that the Lord does not always agree with us either? How many times have we consciously or unconsciously prayed for Him to bless “what we’re doing?”What if we have worked tirelessly on something, but all we have brought to it is human ingenuity, human effort, and human determination? Where has the Lord fit into that effort? Could it be that God was never in it, even though we thought it was a good idea? If so, how do we respond when the Lord does not agree with us?
A lesson from Henry Blackaby’s ministry helps illustrate what it looks like to stop defending our own plan and begin looking for where God is already at work.
Henry Blackaby wrote a book entitled Experiencing God, subtitled Knowing and Doing the Will of God. In it, he shares a powerful truth that emerged on a college campus. The church he pastored had begun to sense God leading them toward an outreach ministry to the university. For one year, they tried to start a Bible study in the dormitories, but it never materialized.
The Lord impressed him with two scriptures:
Romans 3:10-11 “There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands, no one who seeks God.”
John 6:44 “No one can come to Me [Jesus] unless the Father who sent Me draws him.”
He explained to those involved in the campus ministry that, according to those passages, people do not seek God on their own initiative. They will not ask about spiritual matters unless God is working in their lives. He continued, “When you encounter someone who is seeking God or asking about spiritual matters, you are seeing God at work. If someone asks you spiritual questions, go with that individual and look to see what God is doing in that person’s life.”
Here is a report from one of the young women: “Pastor, a girl who has been in classes with me for almost two years came to me after class today. She said, ‘I think you might be a Christian. I need to talk to you.’ We went to the cafeteria to talk. She said, ‘Eleven of us girls have been studying the Bible, and none of us are Christians. Do you know somebody who can lead us in a Bible study?’”
As a result of that one contact, three Bible-study groups in the women’s dorms and two in the men’s dorm were started. Here is the clincher: For two years, they tried to do something for God and failed. For three days, they looked to see where God was working and joined Him. What a difference that made!
Wow. Could it be that we are not always right? Could it be that someone who disagrees with us is not simply being difficult, but may be helping us see from an entirely different, and possibly better, perspective?
So, before we jump to conclusions about those who do not agree with us, perhaps we should quietly step back and ask the Lord if He is trying to speak to us. Let me leave you with this passage from Proverbs.
Proverbs 19:21 “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”
May we be humble enough to admit when we might be wrong, wise enough to listen when God redirects us, and faithful enough to join Him where He is already at work.
I pray you will think about it my friend and have a wonderful day!